When is enough enough? Is it time to leave?

By lisah805 on Sat, 02-25-12, 15:58

Posted in Group:

I'm new to this site so not really sure what to expect or how much info to give really.

I've been married to my Husband for almost 7 years now, but for the last 4 years the relationship has been sexless - I mean no sexual contact at all, and not just once in a blue moon.

At first I tried everything I could think of to get him interested in me in that way again, but to no avail. My confidence began to decrease and I began to get more and more unhappy and gradually started to blame myself, things like if I was prettier or slimmer (even though I hadn't put on any weight or changed much from when we got married). Eventually 2 years ago I hit rock bottom and was diagnosed with depression and put onto citalopram, after some counselling both personal and relationship, things did seem to improve (although there was no sexual copntact, I felt that we were communicating more again), but over the last 6 months things have taken a turn for the worse again.

When he's not at work, he spends most of his time either out with his friends or upstairs playing on his x box. even when we are in the same room he's always on the laptop, so might as well as not be in the same room.

He claims that he loves me dearly and I don't think that he would ever cheat on me, but I'm not sure if I even love him any more. I've confided in my Mum, but she's not supportive of me leaving him and has basically said that I'm no daughter of hers if I do leave.

I don't know what to do, I feel so lost and so unhappy, but at the same time my self esteem is so low, I don't really think that anyone else out there would ever want me. I've started to binge eat whenever I'm in the house by myself, I'm eating huge amounts of food, like pizza, garlic bread, chips and ice cream and not stopping until I feel physically sick and on some occassions I have been sick.

I don't feel confident or strong enough to leave my Husband and have no idea how I'd cope with all the additional financial stresses and pressures from family.

I really don't know what to do, I feel like I'm at the end of my tether, please help...

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0 Support

By mom1969 on Sun, 02-26-12, 08:43

Welcome to Support Groups. I'm sorry that you are joining our site under these circumstances. I will do my best to be there for you. Is it possible that your husband feels like you do? Possibly you both feel inadequate as a partner in the marriage and you each show it in a different way. There is a book called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It is a very good book. Perhaps if you read this book you can learn how to show your husband that you love him in his love language and he'll open up more and vice versa. It will take time. Try looking in your local library for self help books such as this and see what you come across. Don't force these books upon him, work on yourself and see if he notices a change in you. Maybe if he notices something different in you he'll be so intrigued that he'll want to find out more.

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