If you are craving something sweet, eat some fruit. Drink LOTS of fluids (mostly water, juice has a lot of sugars in them), or if you feel like you HAVE to eat something, eat a little bit of it (I binge eat, and saving some for later has helped me). Or just go on walks/jogs, lift weights, do yoga, SOMETHING to keep you occupied. I will support you through it! Lots of love ♥

Thanks! :) That's a big thing already today I've noticed...I don't eat during the day because I'm so preoccupied with everything else going around, errands and such. I really like the fruit idea and I'm a total juice junkie..so I'm hoping to work on that haha

You have my support--whatever I can do! Just the fact that you have admitted the problem is HUGE!! It sounds very fresh, so please take time to heal. I have worked on it with professionals for many years. It is so hard. I too come from a very abusive home and that is how I have dealt with it.

One piece of advice, as cliche as it may seem, please eat throughout the day. It will even out your blood sugar, and decrease cravings, thereby (hopefully) at least somewhat reducing bingeing, particularly later in the day.

I will check in again tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after...You get my point:)))))

Haha thanks! Yeah the realization truly hit me today, like 2 hours ago if that..right after I had finished bingeing again. It was like something snapped, a wave came and it all hit me at once..flashbacks from childhood of me stuffing my face before my mom came home so she wouldn't catch me, not eating during school, hiding snacks in my bedroom and all the late nights hidden in the fridge while my boyfriend was at work. I know I'll probably spend too much time on this site, but I plan on checking in several times a day..I have to break this. Thank you so much for your support, I will definitely stay updated with you as well!!

Yeah, you have to eat throughout the day and reduce your carb intake. Empty carbs make u hungrier, so lay off the chips, ok? If you have to, schedule your meals, even if it just picking up an apple, or a handful of grapes in the afternoon between errands, that's ok. At least its something to keep your blood sugar level, so you dont binge eat later. Nice pic btw :)

I took all the chips out of the house today, sent them with my boyfriend on his way to work..if they aren't in the house I don't have the temptation, right? :) Haha thanks, it was a picture editor program I downloaded. I laughed so hard! Okay..so for anyone who has a smaller family or anyone who can relate, (I think I might make this a separate posting as well) what do you do in this situation? My boyfriend sleeps during the day..I don't work at the moment so I get up, clean the house, do dishes,laundry, etc...maybe pay a couple bills and by that time it's typically between 4 and 6pm and I haven't eaten anything..He wakes up at 8, so I justify me not eating until he gets up, because I feel like A. I'm wasting food by just cooking for me and B. by the time it's done it'll be a half hour before he gets up anyway and then his food will be cold and I feel horrible because he's getting reheated food. He's paying all of our bills and I compensate by keeping a clean house and a warm meal every night. When I grab something small, like grapes or HONESTLY chips/crackers, it's like something goes off in my brain that yells OMG FEED MEEEEEE!!!! FEED ME NOOOWWWW!!! and I binge all over again. Then I'm mad at myself for binging..I don't eat dinner..he goes to work and I binge AGAIN! errrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

Hey, I don't think you need a nutritionist..... Just eat as clean as you can, and an app that I've found super helpful is myfitnesspal. It's a food and exercise tracking app, and it can tell you your recommended daily intakes of carbs, protein, fat, salt, fiber, everything. It's awesome!

Yeah! I've been using myfitnesspal too...It is awesome! I get embarrassed though, like what if someone can see everything I've had to eat and then I get judged..so I skip days sometimes because I don't want to know how many calories I really did eat, how bad it really was...that's going to change!

You have a lot of support here! I hope this site helps you with your problems. It has helped many people. Good luck!

Thanks!! It definitely has so far :) It's kind of cool to know it's not just me..other people can relate...definitely makes me feel like I can get through it!

MotocrossMiss,
You have taken a great first step in finding support here. Also, you have already identified one of your key triggers...your boyfriend going to work. Dare I say, perhaps when he leaves, you're feeling lost and lonely, and the eating fills that emptiness? I say this because it's the same for me. My husband likes to play games on his computer sometimes late into the night. I don't know how to ask him for what I need, and so I eat instead of just going down and saying "I need you." I guess I don't want to seem so needy, but that's who I am, and he loves me that way. I just need to remind myself before I hit the pantry to eat, that I really just need that hug. I know it's harder obviously when your boyfriend is at work. Perhaps you need to spend more quality time together when he's not working if possible...so you can store up that love and attention for when he's working. I recommend if you are eating more at night...go to bed earlier...sleep is the great healer, put as much distance between you and the kitchen as possible (you'd be amazed how lazy we can be if we have to go farther to get the chips!), and identify some ways you like to take care of yourself that feel really good...a nice bath or shower, reading a guilty pleasure book, whatever makes you feel good but not think about food :-) I wish you luck, and I'm new here too, so I'll be seeing you around!
Catleya (aka Mary K.)

Catleya,
Yeah that is absolutely the case...when he leaves for work and I'm home alone, I'm depressed because I have no one to hangout with (my best friend works 3rd shift as well) and I start thinking about the reality of my relationship with my boyfriend..We don't have a great relationship to begin with, so quality time in general is a lot of arguing, a lot of differences in personalities and no money to be able to go on dates or do fun things so we're both stressed and angry and I would've ended it awhile ago, but we are stuck in a lease together.

On top of that, though he IS one of my best friends and I'm afraid to lose that friendship, but I'm not happy in this relationship either..
So I sit at home thinking about that, thinking about how I have no friends, no job at the moment..I'm overweight and unhappy and I use food to "fix" all my problems at the moment. It's like "Ugghh my life sucks...Oooo I have sunchips! or Ooooo I have chocolate" and I'm happy for that split second or for the 5-10 minutes I'm binge eating.

I am trying to make things better..

I've easily put in over 50 apps in the last 2 months and I've had a couple call backs, was even offered a job and it ended up falling through..It makes me feel not good enough and I go home depressed thinking about how horrible of a person I am and binge eat later that night.

I just wish I could get my act together, be able to afford an apartment on my own, get healthy, and become a better person..it's just a struggle for sure.

Mary K,
Thank you so much for your support :) It definitely helps knowing there are people out there who can relate! I know eventually things will fall back into place, it's just a matter of holding on and fighting hard to make it happen. I am definitely going to try working on the self confidence and realizing that it is okay to make mistakes that I don't have to beat myself up for.
If you don't mind me asking, what was it that finally made you end things? I know for me it's hard because it's not that it's a "bad" relationship per say...it's just definitely not a good relationship either..it's just okay. I definitely feel like it's more mother-son or brother-sister than it is an actual relationship but it's hard to lose a best friend...

I spent two years in grad school studying behavior analysis, or the study of human behavior and I have been trying to use some of the self management strategies on myself. I am taking data on the times of day that feeling of binging or actual binging occurs to try to identify more patterns regarding my behavior.

Today I put a calendar in my room and I am putting a sticker on each day I don't have a binge. Every week I don't have a binge I am rewarding myself with something small but special to me (a trashy celebrity magazine lol, new nail polish, etc.,

Also, from the research I've read, having "self-management" partners with similar goals is extremely effective, so being a part of a community like this is definitely beneficial!

Britney :)

Thanks Britney that's a really good idea too!

Mary K,
Yeah, we've been together almost 3 years and I just still feel like I'm more in a mother-son relationship than an equal couple. He's never thrown anything at me, but there has been the punching of holes in walls, smashing my mirror, threatening to kill himself, threatening to throw my cat out the window..I've tried kicking him out, but he says until I pay him back for every bill he's ever paid for me he's not leaving or he'll swear he's going to kill himself and take off in his truck. I've tried moving out and he tells me if I leave, he leaves and then we still have to pay for our lease. It's just too much sometimes..I just feel like at 21 we're a couple who need a divorce..been together a long time and just aren't compatible anymore, but it's only been 3 years haha..I'm 21 going on 45 sometimes I swear..

On another note..haha I didn't binge eat yesterday YAY I did over eat, but at least no binge eating :) :)

MotorcrossMiss, you have alot going on with your relationship! I imagine that level of stress contributes to your binging? Please take good care of yourself and be careful. You deserve great things....a healthy relationship with yourself, food, boyfriend, etc.

Aww thanks Melina!
Yeah I'm sure the stress does..I just try to hide the feelings and keep telling myself it will get better...fake it til you make it right? :)

It's hard too though, when my family loves him..my mom told me she'd basically be pissed if I ever broke up with him (because he'd be a dad that would stick around unlike mine)...my sister had a meltdown when he took off in his truck after an argument(she's scared every man will walk out of her life because my dad walked out when she was 2)...my grandpa likes him, my grandma likes him..it's just easier to deal with it and make them happy..

So just like I'm sure you've been seeing in these posts..this is what I contemplate every single day..all day long until I'm so stressed I have to go do something..so I go to the cupboard. errr I really did think about buying a "baby gate" to put across my entry way to my kitchen..kind of as a physical barrier to say umm no..stay out.